As tomorrow is Chris’s (and my) last first day of school I feel so sad. In 2009 when this day happened for Brandon it wasn’t quite as devastating as I knew my job as parent was not done as I had years left with Chris. Oh I know it is the job of a parent to always be working toward them leaving but darn it I just love being their Mom and having them near me. A few years ago I gave the boys a letter at Christmas and today it just seems appropriate to once again share these words with my boys…
To My Sons…. Did I tell you?
Now that you are almost grown I look back and ask myself…. Did I tell you? Did I tell you all that I meant to tell you, all that I felt was important? Did I tell you or was it lost in the shuffle of our everyday lives, the busy full days when I taught and didn’t know it. What did I teach? Was it strong? Was it good? Will it root you in something real that will allow you to grow with a firm and sound foundation? Did I tell you…
Did I tell you to love, not with a fair weather love, but with a love that accepts and cherishes unconditionally? Love not with a quick and passing love, but with a love that is a quiet peace within your heart.
Did I tell you to be thoughtful? Not to be a martyr or doormat to be trod upon, but to be aware of other people and their needs, to meet others with awareness and within your own framework be able to meet them halfway and on occasion go the other half joyfully.
Did I tell you to be courteous, not to display empty manners with no meaning but to live the courtesy born of caring? And to express this caring through the small formalities and customs born of the years.
Did I tell you to be bold? To be not afraid of the unknown, but to live life to the fullest, and meet each new experience with joy and anticipation.
And did I tell you to be cautious? To temper your daring and sense of adventure with good judgement and consideration.
Did I tell you to serve other people if only in a small way? There is growth and satisfaction in being part of something larger than yourself and your life will be richer for knowing this.
Did I tell you to maintain a sense of the past? To recall and uphold all that is best and meaningful in our country and in our society. But never be afraid to speak out where you don’t believe or where there is room for improvement. Work for what you believe, but work in a positive way within a structure of order and reason.
Did I tell you to find a part of nature that speaks to you then know it intimately and well. For some it is a mountain peak, for some a windswept beach. Find your own and in it find your restoration.
Did I tell you to laugh, to dance, to sing? There is a lot in life that is hard, but take it as it comes and find the good…and make time to dance.
Did I tell you to be creative and explore the seed within you? Find your creative spirit and let it grow.
And did I tell you the challenge of being a man-the challenge of balancing your worlds?- the need to achieve and the need to nurture-the need to be strong and the need to be tender-the need to meet the tests that life brings yet always keep love at the centre: letting it be the star by which you set your sail.
Did I tell you these things as we went along the way? If I did then I am humbly grateful. If I did not than you must choose for yourself. If it has meaning than accept it and make it your own. If it does not, discard it. Your life is yours to build as you choose
And did I tell you….
That I hope it will be a good life
Nancy's Notes 