The Holding Pattern Over Washington. Prime Minister Mark Carney meets with Donald Trump tomorrow. And before we go any further, yes, Prime Minister. He’s earned the title. Trump? Technically holds one too, but that doesn’t mean we have to place a capital P beside his name like some sort of honorific halo. Not here.
This meeting is not the solution. It’s the set-up. The positioning. The flight plan filed before we even taxi to the runway. Let me be clear: you don’t barrel your aircraft into a storm system thinking you’ll land without turbulence. You enter the holding pattern. You watch for the weather and check for the traffic. You listen closely to what’s being said on the radio and intuitively know the things you have to consider. Then, and only then, do you start your descent.
We voted Mark Carney in to deal with this. To deal with him. But solving the tariff war on Tuesday? Not happening. Not because Carney isn’t up to the job, but because anyone who thinks you can solve Donald Trump in one meeting is either a grifter or a fool. Or Pierre Poilievre. And thank God it’s not Pierre walking into that room.
Let’s be honest: can you even imagine that meeting if it was Pierre sitting across from Trump, nodding earnestly while Trump asks whether we’re still mining maple syrup or if Canada has joined NATO yet. The level of bootlicking would require a chiropractor on standby. And I say this not as a partisan, but as a Canadian who’s watched Trump devour weak men with glee.
So yes, we should all be relieved it’s Carney in that room. If anyone understands both diplomacy and danger, it’s the guy who’s managed world economies and has danced with politicians. He’s dealt with unstable markets and unstable egos; this is just another high-stakes derivative.
Because it’s not just Trump across the table it’s the entire performance machine around him. Look at yesterday’s interview with Meet the Press. It somehow managed to be both wild and tediously familiar. He screamed fake news, denied facts, rewrote history mid sentence and still somehow stayed seated. The Press have to walk that impossible line again: tell the truth without triggering a Trump walkout. It’s a theater of the absurd, except his absurdity has nukes and tariffs.
So tomorrow Mark Carney walks into that room where reality is flexible, truth is optional, and even a basic statement could spark a tantrum or a social media post with global consequences. He’ll be surrounded not just by cameras, but by people who believe Trump is a prophet and Carney is the enemy. And in that room, facts may not protect him.
Now, let’s not kid ourselves, Trump will need a win. His team will demand it. His base will expect it. His far-right media acolytes, the ones who show up to Oval Office pressers pretending to be journalists, will script the moment before it even unfolds. We’ve seen it before. Zelensky. Stoltenberg. The set-up, the sucker punch, the silence. Carney will have to stare into that chaos and not flinch.
This isn’t a bilateral negotiation. It’s not even a policy discussion. It’s a theatre of power, and the stage has been set by a man whose whims now drive global markets. And here’s the kicker: no matter what Carney does, whether he gives Trump a diplomatic off-ramp or calmly defends Canada’s position, the right-wing outrage machine will light up anyway. “He didn’t fix it!” they’ll cry. “Poilievre would’ve stood up to Trump!” they’ll insist, from behind anonymous usernames and keyboard courage.
Let them scream. Because those of us who understand diplomacy know that sometimes progress looks like nothing at all, until later, when the landing gear drops and you finally touch down somewhere closer to stability.
But if you’re still holding out hope that Tuesday’s meeting will be predictable, manageable, or even tethered to reality, let me offer you this final moment of clarity: the man across from Mark Carney, the one who’s torched trade deals, insulted veterans, and mocked our leadership, recently posted a photoshopped image of himself as the Pope. Not satire. Not parody. A full-blown papal fantasy, mitre and all. You don’t have to be Catholic. You don’t even have to be religious. You just have to be awake to feel your stomach turn at the sheer narcissistic delusion of it. When I first saw it, I didn’t believe it. I checked. Then I double-checked. And then I had to sit with what it meant.
Mark Carney isn’t negotiating with a leader. He’s walking into a room with someone who thinks he’s divine. So no, he won’t fix it all in one meeting. But thank God it’s him in that seat, and not someone like Poilievre still trying to impress the man with the holy headshot on Truth Social.
Nancy's Notes 