Nancy's Notes

As I watch the New Years Facebook status reports and Tweets come across the screen they certainly reflect a wide range of sentiments but one thing seems to show up over and over.  The comment, “that 2013 has got to be better than 2012.”  So I began to wonder where 2012 fits in my ‘best of years/worst of years.’  Only those who know me really well know some of the challenging years I’ve had; some of them ultimately my own doing and some of them not.  Intermingled with those were many wonderful years.  I don’t know that I have ever thought that “it could only be better.” I have always known that it could always be worse.  

Most of my life, I have nurtured ideals of great achievements, great self-sufficiency and a great future ahead of me.   This has been offset by periods where I achieved nothing,  felt significant insecurity and doubted my future.  To help me along the way, I’ve always had, I’m proud to say, a capacity to rechannel my energy toward a goal and I’ve always been the most impetuous and stubborn person I have ever met.  That has gotten me through those periods of difficulty.  When I look back I ask myself what one thing has been common to all of those periods. It is simply that I can adapt; that I can be resilient.  But what I know more than anything is that whatever I am is a result of EVERYTHING I have lived, EVERYTHING I have done, ALL of the people who have been in my life and ALL of the moments I have had.  I wouldn’t change it for the world!! And that resiliency will take me forward into 2013. Whatever comes my way I will welcome it, learn from it and use it to better the lives of my family, my friends and my community.  So 2013 here you come; my new friend, my new challenge, my new gift and most of all my new teacher.

 As I think of my Christmas there is nothing that will ever mean more to me than when in the midst of the chaos of opening presents I handed each of my boys my Christmas (perhaps Life) message to them and both without being asked spent 10 minutes reading it.  I am filled with joy.  Here are the words…..

Did I tell you? 

To My Sons….

Now that you are almost grown I look back and ask myself….  Did I tell you?  Did I tell you all that I meant to tell you, all that I felt was important?  Did I tell you or was it lost in the shuffle of our everyday lives, the busy full days when I taught and didn’t know it.  What did I teach?  Was it strong? Was it good?  Will it root you in something real that will allow you to grow with a firm and sound foundation?  Did I tell you…

Did I tell you to love, not with a fair weather love, but with a love that accepts and cherishes unconditionally?  Love not with a quick and passing love, but with a love that is a quiet peace within your heart.

Did I tell you to be thoughtful?  Not to be a martyr or doormat to be trod upon, but to be aware of other people and their needs, to meet others with awareness and within your own framework be able to meet them halfway and on occasion go the other half joyfully.

Did I tell you to be courteous, not to display empty manners with no meaning but to live the courtesy born of caring?  And to express this caring through the small formalities and customs born of the years.

Did I tell you to be bold?  To be not afraid of the unknown, but to live life to the fullest, and meet each new experience with joy and anticipation.

And did I tell you to be cautious?  To temper your daring and sense of adventure with good judgement and consideration.

Did I tell you to serve other people if only in a small way?  There is growth and satisfaction in being part of something larger than yourself and your life will be richer for knowing this.

Did I tell you to maintain a sense of the past? To recall and uphold all that is best and meaningful in our country and in our society.  But never be afraid to speak out where you don’t believe or where there is room for improvement.  Work for what you believe, but work in a positive way within a structure of order and reason.

Did I tell you to find a part of nature that speaks to you then know it intimately and well.  For some it is a mountain peak, for some a windswept beach. Find your own and in it find your restoration.

Did I tell you to laugh, to dance, to sing?  There is a lot in life that is hard,  but take it as it comes and find the good…and make time to dance.

Did I tell you to be creative and explore the seed within you?  Find your creative spirit and let it grow.

And did I tell you the challenge of being a man-the challenge of balancing your worlds?- the need to achieve and the need to nurture-the need to be strong and the need to be tender-the need to meet the tests that life brings yet always keep love at the centre: letting it be the star by which you set your sail.

Did I tell you these things as we went along the way?  If I did then I am humbly grateful.  If I did not than you must choose for yourself. If it has meaning than accept it and make it your own.  If it does not, discard it.  Your life is yours to build as you choose

And did I tell you….

That I hope it will be a good life

Love Mom

December 2012

I am generally not one to put a lot of value to celebrity and generally do not find my heroes in pop culture.  But today as I heard of the death of Neil Armstrong; the first man on the moon, I suddenly felt profoundly sad.  But why?   Certainly he had been a pilot; something always close to my heart and several years ago my Dad had shared a table with him at an aviation event.  But that was not the connection I was feeling.  It was much more than that.  It was the knowledge that I am now a full generation away from the little girl that sat riveted in front of that TV set on July 20th, 1969 when Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. I had spent weeks waiting for the event.  I had scrapbooks full of every article or newspaper clipping I could find.  My family did not leave the room on that Monday afternoon as we waited for the landing of the module on the surface of the moon, and stayed later still as we waited the 6 hours until Neil Armstrong placed his boot on the dusty lunar surface and proclaimed “That is one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind.”  My father kept saying that this would be remembered as an amazing moment in our lives.  It was a different world.  We were in an era that still had ‘awe’.  We could not computer generate a trip to another planet with a resolution that looked like we were really there.  But what we did have was a grainy black and white picture that told us that as a society we had gone somewhere we had previously only imagined in our dreams.  My father was right.  I do remember July 20th, 1969  as an amazing moment in my life; partly because of it being a great moment in history but more so because I can still feel the incredible feeling of having shared that moment with my family.  So the profound sadness I feel is not about the loss of a man I do not know.  It is the sadness that yet another special moment in my life is now such a distant memory.

Leadership is a tough quality to define.  I spent a thoughtful few days thinking how I see leadership and where I might place myself in that role.  When sports scouts look at a prospect, they classify leadership as an “intangible.” Leadership is definitely a quality, and while tough to define, it is a trait and you’ll be able to distinguish whether a person has “it” or not.

When you take a look around you and throughout history, the world has been fortunate to have been inhabited by a whole host of influential leaders. Some of the most admired leaders have been Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, and Franklin Delano Roosevelt. What made these people such great leaders? Were they particularly great public speakers? Martin Luther King, Jr. undoubtedly was a great speaker, but I’m not sure the same can be said for Gandhi and FDR?

While leadership is certainly difficult to DEFINE, there are attributes that we can associate with signs of being a leader.

1. Visionary: A leader brings a vision to it’s group. It’s a plan by which others can FOLLOW. This vision brings the followers the emotion of hope and something the followers can strive to achieve. The vision should be clear and the leader should stand up for what the leader believes in.

“A leader is a dealer in hope” – Napoleon Bonaparte

2. Reliable: You don’t want to follow someone that shows up late or doesn’t do what they say they are going to do. In a leader, you want someone that’s reliable, with a message that people can follow. If leaders aren’t consistent in their efforts and their actions it causes followers to begin to doubt the dedication of the leader to the cause. 

3. Audacity: It takes guts to be a leader. It’s not for everyone. Some people would prefer to tag along for the ride and that’s fine. Not everyone can or should be a leader.

4. Empowering People: Inherently, people want to do a good job. They want to succeed and make others happy. As a leader, you need to allow people to succeed. By empowering people, the leader isn’t doing the task for the person following the leader, but instead gives them the tools necessary to succeed.

5. Positive:  ” A leader doesn’t need to be all about rainbows and sunshine, but there definitely needs to be a boost of positivity especially when tackling a difficult project or the “going gets tough.”

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

6. Motivating: If you don’t have the previous characteristics, it certainly isn’t very motivating for the follower to follow the leader let alone do a great job. A leader needs a vision, otherwise people don’t have a map and tend to get lost.

So…I have determined that these are what I feel are the most tangible attributes to this very intangible subject so now seeing where I fit in will be next.  I may add more over the next few days as I continue to ponder it.  But I do know that the quote from John Quincy Adams remains key to this …”If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader”.