Nancy's Notes

As I watch the New Years Facebook status reports and Tweets come across the screen they certainly reflect a wide range of sentiments but one thing seems to show up over and over.  The comment, “that 2013 has got to be better than 2012.”  So I began to wonder where 2012 fits in my ‘best of years/worst of years.’  Only those who know me really well know some of the challenging years I’ve had; some of them ultimately my own doing and some of them not.  Intermingled with those were many wonderful years.  I don’t know that I have ever thought that “it could only be better.” I have always known that it could always be worse.  

Most of my life, I have nurtured ideals of great achievements, great self-sufficiency and a great future ahead of me.   This has been offset by periods where I achieved nothing,  felt significant insecurity and doubted my future.  To help me along the way, I’ve always had, I’m proud to say, a capacity to rechannel my energy toward a goal and I’ve always been the most impetuous and stubborn person I have ever met.  That has gotten me through those periods of difficulty.  When I look back I ask myself what one thing has been common to all of those periods. It is simply that I can adapt; that I can be resilient.  But what I know more than anything is that whatever I am is a result of EVERYTHING I have lived, EVERYTHING I have done, ALL of the people who have been in my life and ALL of the moments I have had.  I wouldn’t change it for the world!! And that resiliency will take me forward into 2013. Whatever comes my way I will welcome it, learn from it and use it to better the lives of my family, my friends and my community.  So 2013 here you come; my new friend, my new challenge, my new gift and most of all my new teacher.

 As I think of my Christmas there is nothing that will ever mean more to me than when in the midst of the chaos of opening presents I handed each of my boys my Christmas (perhaps Life) message to them and both without being asked spent 10 minutes reading it.  I am filled with joy.  Here are the words…..

Did I tell you? 

To My Sons….

Now that you are almost grown I look back and ask myself….  Did I tell you?  Did I tell you all that I meant to tell you, all that I felt was important?  Did I tell you or was it lost in the shuffle of our everyday lives, the busy full days when I taught and didn’t know it.  What did I teach?  Was it strong? Was it good?  Will it root you in something real that will allow you to grow with a firm and sound foundation?  Did I tell you…

Did I tell you to love, not with a fair weather love, but with a love that accepts and cherishes unconditionally?  Love not with a quick and passing love, but with a love that is a quiet peace within your heart.

Did I tell you to be thoughtful?  Not to be a martyr or doormat to be trod upon, but to be aware of other people and their needs, to meet others with awareness and within your own framework be able to meet them halfway and on occasion go the other half joyfully.

Did I tell you to be courteous, not to display empty manners with no meaning but to live the courtesy born of caring?  And to express this caring through the small formalities and customs born of the years.

Did I tell you to be bold?  To be not afraid of the unknown, but to live life to the fullest, and meet each new experience with joy and anticipation.

And did I tell you to be cautious?  To temper your daring and sense of adventure with good judgement and consideration.

Did I tell you to serve other people if only in a small way?  There is growth and satisfaction in being part of something larger than yourself and your life will be richer for knowing this.

Did I tell you to maintain a sense of the past? To recall and uphold all that is best and meaningful in our country and in our society.  But never be afraid to speak out where you don’t believe or where there is room for improvement.  Work for what you believe, but work in a positive way within a structure of order and reason.

Did I tell you to find a part of nature that speaks to you then know it intimately and well.  For some it is a mountain peak, for some a windswept beach. Find your own and in it find your restoration.

Did I tell you to laugh, to dance, to sing?  There is a lot in life that is hard,  but take it as it comes and find the good…and make time to dance.

Did I tell you to be creative and explore the seed within you?  Find your creative spirit and let it grow.

And did I tell you the challenge of being a man-the challenge of balancing your worlds?- the need to achieve and the need to nurture-the need to be strong and the need to be tender-the need to meet the tests that life brings yet always keep love at the centre: letting it be the star by which you set your sail.

Did I tell you these things as we went along the way?  If I did then I am humbly grateful.  If I did not than you must choose for yourself. If it has meaning than accept it and make it your own.  If it does not, discard it.  Your life is yours to build as you choose

And did I tell you….

That I hope it will be a good life

Love Mom

December 2012

I am generally not one to put a lot of value to celebrity and generally do not find my heroes in pop culture.  But today as I heard of the death of Neil Armstrong; the first man on the moon, I suddenly felt profoundly sad.  But why?   Certainly he had been a pilot; something always close to my heart and several years ago my Dad had shared a table with him at an aviation event.  But that was not the connection I was feeling.  It was much more than that.  It was the knowledge that I am now a full generation away from the little girl that sat riveted in front of that TV set on July 20th, 1969 when Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. I had spent weeks waiting for the event.  I had scrapbooks full of every article or newspaper clipping I could find.  My family did not leave the room on that Monday afternoon as we waited for the landing of the module on the surface of the moon, and stayed later still as we waited the 6 hours until Neil Armstrong placed his boot on the dusty lunar surface and proclaimed “That is one small step for a man; one giant leap for mankind.”  My father kept saying that this would be remembered as an amazing moment in our lives.  It was a different world.  We were in an era that still had ‘awe’.  We could not computer generate a trip to another planet with a resolution that looked like we were really there.  But what we did have was a grainy black and white picture that told us that as a society we had gone somewhere we had previously only imagined in our dreams.  My father was right.  I do remember July 20th, 1969  as an amazing moment in my life; partly because of it being a great moment in history but more so because I can still feel the incredible feeling of having shared that moment with my family.  So the profound sadness I feel is not about the loss of a man I do not know.  It is the sadness that yet another special moment in my life is now such a distant memory.

Leadership is a tough quality to define.  I spent a thoughtful few days thinking how I see leadership and where I might place myself in that role.  When sports scouts look at a prospect, they classify leadership as an “intangible.” Leadership is definitely a quality, and while tough to define, it is a trait and you’ll be able to distinguish whether a person has “it” or not.

When you take a look around you and throughout history, the world has been fortunate to have been inhabited by a whole host of influential leaders. Some of the most admired leaders have been Martin Luther King, Jr., Gandhi, and Franklin Delano Roosevelt. What made these people such great leaders? Were they particularly great public speakers? Martin Luther King, Jr. undoubtedly was a great speaker, but I’m not sure the same can be said for Gandhi and FDR?

While leadership is certainly difficult to DEFINE, there are attributes that we can associate with signs of being a leader.

1. Visionary: A leader brings a vision to it’s group. It’s a plan by which others can FOLLOW. This vision brings the followers the emotion of hope and something the followers can strive to achieve. The vision should be clear and the leader should stand up for what the leader believes in.

“A leader is a dealer in hope” – Napoleon Bonaparte

2. Reliable: You don’t want to follow someone that shows up late or doesn’t do what they say they are going to do. In a leader, you want someone that’s reliable, with a message that people can follow. If leaders aren’t consistent in their efforts and their actions it causes followers to begin to doubt the dedication of the leader to the cause. 

3. Audacity: It takes guts to be a leader. It’s not for everyone. Some people would prefer to tag along for the ride and that’s fine. Not everyone can or should be a leader.

4. Empowering People: Inherently, people want to do a good job. They want to succeed and make others happy. As a leader, you need to allow people to succeed. By empowering people, the leader isn’t doing the task for the person following the leader, but instead gives them the tools necessary to succeed.

5. Positive:  ” A leader doesn’t need to be all about rainbows and sunshine, but there definitely needs to be a boost of positivity especially when tackling a difficult project or the “going gets tough.”

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

6. Motivating: If you don’t have the previous characteristics, it certainly isn’t very motivating for the follower to follow the leader let alone do a great job. A leader needs a vision, otherwise people don’t have a map and tend to get lost.

So…I have determined that these are what I feel are the most tangible attributes to this very intangible subject so now seeing where I fit in will be next.  I may add more over the next few days as I continue to ponder it.  But I do know that the quote from John Quincy Adams remains key to this …”If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader”.

So yesterday as I watched a live stream video of a board meeting from EPSB I observed their 3 minute at a time rule for speaking.

Oh sure you get another 3 minutes on the next round but that there can be a lot of time between those ‘3 minutes.’  For me anyway.  So I know I bring some great things to a meeting.  However…..I know I can be impatient waiting for time to speak.  I think I’m worried we’re not going to get everything said.  So….I am making a commitment (to myself) to work on this.  To create a new habit.  My new habit will be…….I will only speak 3 minutes at a time.  I might have to practice this.  Actually I might have to practice a lot.  I’m getting kind of old to change a bad habit in a day.   Creating a new behavior isn’t always easy. You often start out all enthusiastic and excited (that’s where I’m at as I write this.)  But since you usually have to keep doing it every day for about 30 days or once a week for a whole lot of weeks to make the new habit into something that sticks and feels natural it becomes harder after a while.

 Life may interfere. Perhaps I’ll get overwhelmed at work or at home. Or maybe I’ll get impatient (actually count on that).  Maybe I’ll go away for a vacation or a conference somewhere and it will all go out the window.   Or maybe – because change is scary and could be harmful – my mind will start to create thoughts that try to persuade me to quit this new and possibly positive change.

What to do then? Here are a few tips that might help me to keep going on such tough days or to make smart decisions.

Just for today!

Sounds like I’m at a recovery group-well maybe I am.  It’s just that right now I’m the only member and my chant will be;  “Just for today when I am in a meeting; be it formal or informal. I will only speak for 3 minutes at a time and I will wait my turn till I get my next 3 minutes.”  

This is bad!! My thoughts are already thinking that if I was to get five 3 minute turns that would be 15 minutes.  I could get get a lot said in 15 minutes.  OMG I must be really far gone.  Okay, okay bring it back in Nancy.

By telling myself that I only have to do it today I will release the mental burden of the past times I did it and future times when I will do it. And so the task becomes much lighter and the inner resistance melts away.

Plus, it also reminds me that the period that I am investing in changing a habit is not the rest of my life. After 30 days or so the habit will mostly be automatic so it is not something I have to do on willpower for the next few years or decades.  I sure hope so.

So today is almost over and guess what, when tomorrow comes I’ll have a good day with less resistance and I will most likely feel like doing the task again.  Then again tomorrow should be easy because I have no meetings or anything where I have to practice this behavior.  I can still count that as a day in my 30 days can’t I?

Find inspiration quickly to change your mood and mind.

When I’m having a rough day then I’ll go and find some inspiration and motivation to keep going. With the help of just 15-20 minutes of personal development CDs, mp3s, blog posts or a chapter or two in a book they say one can often change negative thoughts and feelings within into something more positive.  So what will I use for this?  Not a lot of books on this habit that I’m familiar with.  Oh I know…I’ll watch reruns of that board meeting.  That should be stimulating or so boring that like a dog wearing a zap collar I’ll learn.

And so I’ll once again feel more motivated to keep going.

Nudge myself back on track when I slip.

I’ll probably slip along the way. It’s natural to do so. If I can avoid doing so over the 30 days then that is good. If I slip then that will have to be okay too. I won’t beat myself up if I do. That will only cause more negativity within and I may feel like giving up altogether just because I made a small slip or mistake; like speaking for 3-1/2 minutes for example.

Instead, I’ll nudge yourself back on track the next day again. And then keep going with the thought in mind that it is the smart choice to forgive myself and make it easier to make this habit a sticky habit.

Take a break/have a cheat day

Maybe I simply need a break for a day or two. Then darn it I will just take it. I think I should take my break on board meeting day or Committee of the Whole day….. But then nudge myself back on track again.  No?  Okay I won’t make it intentional and I will not let a small break become the end of this positive change.

Quit.

Am I trying to rid myself of this habit because I truly want it? Or am I creating it because someone told me to or because some people around me seem to have the ability to do this naturally?  Well all of these I think.

I think that often when someone works on a new behavior there will be thoughts and feelings of not wanting to work on it.  Much easier to revert to the old habit. Or in this case difficult because I just so want to do the right thing for my community.  I desperately feel that if people can hear how passionate I am about a topic or initiative and how much work I’ve done to support that then I will have done the right thing.

 The only difference is that now I have to get all that done,  done well and in only 3 minutes…….

 “Sometimes, in a moral struggle, we discover the right thing to do – just as, on some cold day long ago, we discovered mittens pinned to our coat sleeve. ” Robert Brault

So today my parent role vs trustee role has been tested.  I am aware of the cautious note we always hear about stepping back as a parent because now we are ‘trustees’.  When a parent tells me today that her child has told her a staff member is ‘picking on’ my child I am uncertain how to deal with it.  What breaks my heart is that my 12 year old has indicated this for the last 2 months.  I discounted what he said and told him he must be ‘misunderstanding’ the staff member’s intentions.  When I decided to take him aside and talk today I knew the right thing to do.  My boy needed me.  Had I lost sight of this as I talked ‘Transformation of Education’ and ‘Inspiring Education’?  Well when I saw my boy in tears today I knew what my primary job is.  I am definately passionate about advocating for the best public education for all equally and remembering that I represent my ‘board’ in all my dealings.  That will not change.  But I will be more cautious to not lose sight of the fact that two of those students I am talking about are my own children and I have to advocate for them too.  However, they don’t call me an advocate when I stand up for them.  They call me their Mom.

    A few days ago at a  PSBAA council meeting, Wayne Hulley challenged us to consider:

“Who would ever apply for a job where for thirteen years you sit in a chair, can’t leave your seat unless you get permission, can’t even go to the bathroom unless you ask. Why are we doing this to our kids?”       Not anymore!!!!

We need new lenses in education.  A different way of viewing what it means to learn and teach.  Many of us are used to seeing the entire educational process from the proverbial “car window”–travelling from one point to another with only passing interest in how we get there and what lies in between. Things are done the way they have always been done.  It is easier that way, and until recently, that was all that was expected.Educational leaders (meaning dedicated teachers, administrators and school advocates and trustees) are beginning to put away the rose-colored glasses in favor of new lenses.

Lenses that:

• allow the viewing of more possibilities and fewer obstacles
• show a radically transformed educational system that values student input and individualizes instruction to meet student needs
• diminish the fear of technology and help educators embrace it as a powerful tool for teachers and students
• see the “back to basics” movement for what it is–a step backward, when we need to be moving forward
• cause us to reflect on all current educational practices, with a mind to change, or eliminate, those that are not in the best interest of our students

As people in the world of education, we have been wearing the same glasses for too long.  It is time for an eye exam and a new prescription. Let’s change the way we look at teaching and schools.

As I watch the 1 year anniversary of the Olympics I am reminded of the impact it has on us a country.   I am uncertain of the longevity of that impact but it did prove that ‘together’ we can stand out front on the world stage in anything we do.  “I Believe” as a slogan means a lot because for so long we didn’t believe in ourselves or our country.  It is difficult for me as a person from eastern Canada constantly hearing the conversation about how the east takes from the west.  I never knew this in my life and after living the better part of  30 years in Alberta I believe I can look from both sides.  I know that what I have received from this province I have tried to give back.  Please don’t generalize about my work ethic, my upbringing, my capabilities, my education, my values and my moral fibre and I promise not to do that to you.  “I Believe” that unified we are a great country; from sea to shining sea.